LATEST ISSUES 21st June, 2026

Earlier this year I joined an online dating site. I did this in the spirit of the advice suggested to me by the psychotherapists who have tried to help me over the last four to five years. The words of consultant clinical psychologist, Viv Cowdrill, were still in my head, insistently reminding me to ‘accept’ the bad things that have happened and to move on with my life. My Cognitive Analytical Therapist, Dr Jackie Preston’s parting professional opinion was that I should take steps to reconnect with people and widen my social circle. Even my own friendship circle has shrunk like a puddle of water under a hot sun.

The decision to dip a tentative toe into romantic dating wasn’t taken lightly. Indeed, it was quite the challenge as I have been a single dad for around nineteen years and singularly devoted to caring for my mentally ill daughter. I haven’t been in any kind of adult relationship in all of that time. Nobody has voluntarily walked into my personal space with romantic intentions for longer than I can remember and yet I still have the very real achingly human need for affection and intimacy and to be embraced, hugged and held.

My online dating experience lasted around three months. I made casual acquaintance with many girls and women on the site though each interaction was superficial and held strictly at arm’s length, online. It was a softly, slowly approach.

After around a month I came across a particular profile, a pretty face, innocent and disarming. She immediately captured my attention. I reached out and she responded, enthusiastically. We seemed to get along well, writing to each other every day, sharing our stories, our interests, our hopes and ambitions. I told her about my daughter Meg and she was understanding and compassionate. She even sent videos of herself and her dog. There was a palpable romance blossoming that I hadn’t felt for over nineteen years. I dared to hope, dared to believe that the world wasn’t entirely hostile, that there was acceptance, maybe more.

At some point we started to talk about meeting in person.

Then came the moral dilemma. At which point should I make her aware of the allegations made against me of gross criminal offences? One of the clinicians who had worked with me at CMHT, The Bridge Centre had cautioned me against disclosing this information in the early stages of new relationships but it felt wrong to me. I just didn’t feel comfortable setting up a face to face with this girl without letting her know that I had been accused of ‘stalking’. If she was going to make this important decision then she need to be informed. We were going to meet somewhere neutral, in public but she was putting trust in me and making herself increasingly vulnerable. Stalking is a serious crime that carries a maximum sentence of 10 years' imprisonment for the more serious form under section 4A of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. I robustly deny the allegation but the facts is that Hampshire Police have categorically accused me of ‘stalking’ and recorded and retained this accusation on their database apparently at the behest and insistence of CAMHS ‘art therapist’, Sally Mungall without evidence.

I wrote to this girl who I had met online and told her about the allegations. I professed my innocence and signposted her to this very blog, which I encouraged her to read so that she would have access to the full story. It was entirely her decision to accept me or walk away.

She walked away.

Anecdotal evidence should never be considered validating evidence, of course, but the pattern laid out by this story casts a pessimistic theatrical pall over the stage.

What we learn from our life experiences significantly influence our perceptions, values and beliefs. My most significant life experiences, particularly over the past four to five years, have been clinicians working at CAMHS, Bramblys Drive , Basingstoke and the trespass by Hampshire Police into the inner sanctum of my world. The false criminal allegations, asserted by mental healthcare clinicians and leadership, recorded and retained by Hampshire Police have shaken my confidence to the foundations. I now hold an almost unshakable belief that the world is inherently dangerous and that the people I meet are largely untrustworthy, especially those whose professional duty it is to safeguard and care.

While writing this post I was reminded of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. This psychological theory explains human motivation which, in its original formulation, is visually depicted as a triangle or pyramid made up of five layers. From bottom to top, the levels are explained as:

1. Physiological needs (food, water, shelter, rest)

2. Safety needs (security, stability, freedom from fear)

3. Social and belonging needs (friendship, intimacy, acceptance)

4. Esteem needs (respect, recognition, status)

5. Self-actualisation needs (achieving one's full potential, creativity)

Maslow asserted that all human beings are motivated fulfil these needs. Most of us take them for granted.

The psychological damage caused by inappropriate and unsanctioned ‘art therapy’ by CAMHS therapist, Sally Mungall and the misrepresentation of me, the lies told to me and about me by Sally Mungall and her clinical and leadership cohorts within the wider Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust cohorts alongside the injustices inflicted upon me by Hampshire Constabulary following false criminal allegations has obstructed, undermined and dismantled my ability to fulfil many of those needs.

My thwarted path to fulfilling most of these needs has been the bedrock of my complaints to the police, to the various regulatory and governmental bodies involved and to lawyers and solicitors. It has also been the single most destructive force disrupting my peace of mind and relentlessly eroding my mental health.

I have lived in constant fear, denied employment opportunities and been robbed of status, respect and reputation.

I will likely eek out the rest of my existence alone, without any reasonable prospect of ever forming a new, meaningful, intimate adult relationship.

This dabbling in online dating is proof that the false allegations of ‘stalking’ made against me are a credible slur on my reputation and possibly the embodied dragon guarding the threshold to belonging, friendship, intimacy, acceptance, esteem, respect, recognition, status and, ultimately, self-actualisation.

The anger that boils inside me is hard to bear. I am reminded, once again, of the quote from Mary Shelley's novel, Frankenstein.

'I, like the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me; and finding myself unsympathised with, wished to tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed the ruin.'