It had been my intention to update the ‘IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT’ made on the 5th July, 2025 and reiterate my intention to continue protesting injustices, wrongdoing and statutory failures committed against my daughter and me. I was going to announce dates and itineraries of demonstrations in Central London for the month of August in anticipation of my fourth hunger strike due to commence in September.
I now need to reevaluate my plans following two significant meetings with clinicians at CMHT the Bridge Centre in Basingstoke.
THE FIRST MEETING
On Wednesday the 30th of July, 2025, I attended a meeting at CMHT The Bridge Centre to discuss the ending of my recent psychotherapy work with CAT therapist, Dr Jackie Preston. The discussion also assessed my role as carer to my mentally ill daughter, Meg and plans for the short and long term provision of care and support for both of us.
I was able to report some positive outcomes of the intense psychotherapeutic work completed with Jackie. She is undoubtedly the most competent and experienced therapist who I have ever worked with though significant issues persist. There has been little to no progress in alleviating the psychological distress resulting from experiences at CAMHS, Bramblys Drive and the deplorable way that I was managed afterwards by leadership within the wider Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust.
Alongside Jackie was Viv Cowdrill, consultant clinical psychologist at Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust. I have a lot of affection for Viv. She knows me quite well and sympathises with my psychological dilemma but the remedy she offers is difficult for me to swallow. The remedy that Viv is suggesting is ‘acceptance’. She acknowledges that I have experienced psychological trauma and agrees that I have been subject to various injustices but is encouraging me to ‘let go’.
This definition, culled from the internet, best explains ‘acceptance’ within the confines of a widely applied therapeutic intervention.
‘Acceptance is a core element of ‘acceptance and commitment therapy’ (ACT) and ‘cognitive behavioral therapy’ (CBT)). In this context, acceptance is a process that involves actively contacting psychological internal experiences (emotions, sensations, urges, flashbacks, and other private events) directly, fully, without reacting or becoming defensive. The idea is to accept the things one cannot change, such as psychological experiences, but build the courage to change the things one can.’
Viv first made that suggestion during a meeting with me last year and then I met her suggestion with barbed-wired anger. She made the same suggestion when I met her again last Wednesday. I was less angry this time but still unable to reconcile this concept with my grievances.
Hampshire Constabulary still insist on retaining records that make false accusations against me ie that I ‘stalked and harassed’, implying that I am guilty of ‘violent and sexual offences’ and that I am somehow a ‘risk’ to the public.
Regulatory bodies including the Health and Care Professions Council and the Parliamentary Health Service Ombudsman steadfastly refuse to use the considerable legislative powers at their disposal and fully investigate my complaints at both individual and institutional levels.
And, to add insult to injury, I was referred to the government’s counter-terrorism initiative, Prevent, following my publicly expressed intention to protest.
I am currently categorised as a violent, sexual offender,
currently accused of stalking and harassing and
regarded as a terrorist and or guilty of terrorist thought crimes!!
These are categories of accusation that are baseless, without evidence and totally lacking foundation.
How do I 'accept' those accusations?
I AM NOT A VIOLENT OFFENDER!
I AM NOT A SEXUAL OFFENDER!
I HAVE NEVER STALKED ANYONE!
I HAVE NEVER HARASSED ANYONE!
I AM NOT A RISK TO ANYONE!
I AM NOT A TERRORIST!
All of these accusations, recorded by Hampshire Constabulary, are discriminatory and psychologically damaging and can be used against me for the rest of my natural life.
How do I 'accept' this?
How do I ‘accept’ that my daughter, Meg, has been clinically neglected and underserved?
How do I ‘accept’ that I have been clinically neglected, abused and psychologically damaged?
How do I ‘accept’ that I have been falsely accused of hideous offences and have those accusations held on record to be used against me for the rest of my natural life?
How do I 'accept' that those same false accusations can be used to discriminate against me and deny future employment opportunities following enhanced DBS checks?
How do I 'accept' that those same false accusations can be used against me following future relational grievences that lead to further spurious accusations and used as evidence of patterns of behaviour, leading to arrest and prosecution?
How do I 'accept' the reputational damage done to me by my accuser, condoned by Hampshire Constabulary?
How do I 'accept' the psychological damage done by Hampshire Constabulary?
How do I ‘accept’ that my daughter, Meg, has suffered and continues to suffer extreme, debilitating psychological distress because of failures by healthcare professionals to follow policy and protocol and to adhere to ethical standards?
How do I ‘accept’ that my freedom of expression and rights to protest are subject to arbitrary and capricious conditions set by bigoted, ignorant and draconian government authorities?
AM I NOT ENTITLED TO JUSTICE AND THE RIGHT TO HOLD OTHERS THOROUGHLY TO ACCOUNT, TO A FAIR TRIAL, FORMAL OR OTHERWISE?
You would rightly expect the authorities to investigate, identify and prosecute breaches, violations and infractions of criminal law.
You would rightly expect access to justice following sexual assault, robbery or racial discrimination. Surely we should never ‘accept’ being physically harmed, deprived of our property or being racially abused? These are criminal offences that we expect to be processed by the police and judiciary.
Similarly, English tort law, one of the three main pillars of the law of obligations, is a civil law that concerns the compensation for harm to people's rights to health and safety, a clean environment, property, their economic interests, or their reputations.
The recent decisions made by Hampshire Constabulary and the various regulatory bodies denies me justice, diminishes me as a person and a citizen.
Is this something I should ‘accept’? Would YOU ‘accept’ this if you were in my place?
OPTIONS
These were my options at the end of Wednesday the 30th July.
I continue to protest, commit myself to further hunger strikes and campaigning for justice and accountability which comes at considerable cost to both my daughter and to me.
I slink off, defeated, adopt a new identity and hide behind a professional pseudonym so that I might have access to a career conducted exclusively through the internet, socially isolate myself in the middle of nowhere, accept that I am not entitled to justice and maintain the belief that people are inherently dangerous and untrustworthy.
Or
Learn how to ‘accept’ and find the courage to embrace a fulfilling life.
Being asked to consider 'acceptence' still makes me fucking angry!
THE SECOND MEETING
Earlier today I attended a meeting alongside my daughter, Meg and her own therapist at CMHT the Bridge Centre. The meeting was held so that we could have a joint discussion about the short term plans for Meg and my continued role as main carer. Meg is currently in the early stages of some very intensive and highly demanding psychotherapy. We all agreed that it was an imperative to minimise and or eliminate all unnecessary ‘stressors’ that might be complicating or interfering with her therapy. We agreed that my ‘protests’, including risking arrest while demonstrating in central London and also risking my own life while engaging in hunger strikes, were exacerbating Meg’s anxieties and aggravating her mental health issues. While we all agree on the legitimacy of my ‘protests’, we collectively understand that this is the wrong time for Meg. I, reluctantly, agreed to reassess my ‘protests’ which means an indefinite postponement of any planned demonstrations in central London and further hunger strikes.
BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW INJUSTICES, WRONGDOING AND STATUTORY FAILURES TO GO UNCHECKED. I STILL NEED TO HOLD CLINICIANS, MENTAL HEALTHCARE INSTITUTIONS AND REGULATORY BODIES TO ACCOUNT.
I intend, therefore, to adopt new strategies going forward, ones that do not intrude upon my daughter’s mental health recovery. I still need to share my story but I need find more creative ways to reach a wide audience, with the general public, with legal entities and with the publishing community.
In the long term I still have the three options listed above.
Maybe in the meantime I can learn to 'accept' though that seems impossible to me. I haven't the grace of Mother Theresa. I only have the rage of Frankenstein's monster. 'I, like the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me, and finding myself unsympathised with, wished to tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed the ruin.' - Mary Shelley
In the short term I HAVE NEW IDEAS and I will be sharing them with you over the coming days.
